


Heartfelt Heartache

by Alkaline6022



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Coping, Heartache, Heartbreak, Moving On, Other, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:00:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22242238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alkaline6022/pseuds/Alkaline6022
Summary: Byleth leaves Fhirdiad without much notice to follow her goal of spreading her teachings across Fodlan. In the wake of her departure, Dimitri feels her absence the hardest. Each day that goes by he ruminates about being distant from her, thinking about what he could have done differently, if anything at all. A month passes and the pain starts consuming him, until a talk with his friends suggests him to pour his feelings out to cope.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & My Unit | Byleth, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	Heartfelt Heartache

“Has it really only been a month?” Dimitri whispers to himself as he looks at the snow-covered Fhirdiad during Faerghus’ cold winter through a window in the throne room.

“Your Highness?” Dedue interrupts the brooding. “You appear filled with gloom, is there something concerning you?”

“Has it really been only a month, Dedue?”

“Your Highness?”

“Has it really been only a month since the professor left? Time without her seems to just have frozen…”

“Your Highness…”

“It’s hard to believe she just left so soon and so suddenly… One day she tells me she wants to venture the world and share her teachings, the next she’s gone… I still can’t fathom it…”

“If I may suggest, Your Highness, in Duscur, whenever something would agonize us as much, we would write a letter expressing our sentiments and recite it to the Goddess so she would guide us to the proper path.”

“Writing a letter, huh? Not a bad idea, Dedue. I might even be able to send it to her! Maybe that will convince her to come back!!” Dimitri excitement sparks on Dimitri’s face. His eyes flare with a newfound hope of the possibility of being in the professor’s presence once more.

“I wouldn’t get your hopes up, Your Highness!” Sylvain barters into the conversation he overheard. “I’ve learned the hard way that when a woman is set on something, or someone, there’s nothing a man can do to convince her otherwise.”

“Sylvain!? Were you just eavesdropping this conversation?”

“I couldn’t just let our king suffer from heartbreak and not do something about it.”

“What do you suggest I do then?”

“Dedue’s idea isn’t bad. Though I wouldn’t be so sure in sending her the letter or that any divine power would bring her back; no offense, Dedue.”

“None taken.”

“But then what is the purpose of writing the letter? If I am not to receive any response from her? If I am not to know how she feels about it or what she plans on doing? Am I just supposed to swallow this grief?”

“That. That is the purpose of the letter, Your Highness.” Sylvain explains in a more serious tone. “So you can spit out your grief. Besides, sending her the letter won’t guarantee that she will reply…”

“Fine.” Dimitri sighs, upset. “If that is the best I can do in this situation, then I’ll do it… Anything to make this easier…”  
As the night arrives, Dimitri makes his way to his cabinet. He refills his ink bottle, settles his quill pen and lays a footlong sheet of weathered paper at his desk. He takes a deep breath. Well, here goes nothing. He thinks to himself and begins:  
“Dearest Professor Byleth,  
It has been more than a month since you have departed. I cannot express how empty everything feels since you have been gone. It is as though the pain I felt back during the Tragedy of Duscur was reawaken. This feeling of powerlessness, of having someone dear to me be ripped away so suddenly… I sorely miss you. At times it feels that my heart was ripped away from my chest and all that is left is an aching void, longing to be filled by your love once again. Rare are the moments when you do not cross my mind. Rarer are the ones when I do not yearn for you. 

For the longest time, ever since that tragic event, I felt abandoned. I was much too young to understand the feelings of grief I had running through me. Somehow, I was able to repress them enough to keep me sane. Until that one fateful revelation more than half a decade ago. Felix always called me a boar and for most part I would take it as a jest. Though every jest has an underlying truth. I was blinded with rage. I had become no better than a wild boar. Ravaging everything in the way of its rampage. Sometimes I wonder if all this suffering is an atonement for all I have done. 

Boar or tamed, you always treated me with respect and care for my well-being. Our connection deepened as time went by and we grew closer as we faced struggles together. The truth is, I would not have been successful in the battlefield if you were not there. Being in your presence I was filled with confidence, not a shadow of doubt would be present in your light. We always felt synchronized in our battles. We always had each other’s backs no matter how dire the situation was. I could not wait to make you my queen. I spend countless hours imagining how prosperous our kingdom would have been. We would rule in tandem, always taking each other’s advice in consideration before making a stand.   
I must admit, every time I see a happy couple together, I think about how we would have been the happiest. However, it also makes me wonder: if we were truly to be the happiest then there would not be any reason for you to leave… It makes me wonder if I made you happy at all. It feels disheartening to think about how easily you could make me happiest man and that all my efforts to make you feel the same were in vain… 

I would never have imagined that we would end up so distant. Our connection always felt ever-growing and seemingly boundless. I would do of just about anything to restore that feeling… You loved and cared for me even after seeing the bloodthirsty monster I had become. How am I to find someone else so empathetic and compassionate such as yourself? Each time we exchanged comfort, whether as words or actions, I would feel it warming my heart which was cold for so long; even this winter has felt colder than usual, I catch myself shivering more than usual. Along with it, the anger, the fear, the trauma, the thirst for revenge, it would all go away in your presence. It was as if my younger self got the embrace, he so much needed in the days following the tragedy.  
I apologize. At times my consciousness tells me that I am being selfish. Only talking about the benefits of having you around makes me feel guilty at times. I wish not to reduce you to just a caretaker. You gave me the best moments in my cold, lonely life. I only wish I was able to do the same for you. It has not been easy to accept the fact that I will be meeting my fate before I am able to make you as happy. It is akin to a double-edged sword, we have parted, but not in an irreversible way. This hope of having you back lingers in my heart, pulling its strings. It is a sense of waves of grief hitting the shore in my heart. I fear that my only way out of this torturous cycle is to kill that lingering hope, though it appears that it will be the hardest thing I have to kill. In a sense, it feels like I am killing a part of myself. The part of you that has become part of me. It is jarring to think what brought me the most comfort and happiness is now bringing me seemingly endless pain.

I would wish you luck in your future challenges, though I am sure you are more than capable to overcome whatever comes your way. I wish you achieve the happiness you much deserve. I do not intend to push any sense of guilt onto you. You have your own right to pursue your happiness. I am just taken aback by the fact that it does not involve me. Our jaded hearts, our worn-out minds, our tired bones and heavy souls always seemed to find their haven in each other. As sorrowful as I feel, I am also forever indebted to your love. It was priceless and I will treasure our memories together more than I would treasure the kingdom’s relics.

Thank you for everything.

Yours and forever yours,

Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd”

Dimitri puts his quill down, takes a deep breath and a look around to reconnect himself with his surroundings. “My goodness! It is nighttime already!!” He notices tear stains in the worn paper. “I cried? I don’t remember doing so… I’m quite spent from all of this though. I should get some rest.” He makes his way to his bedroom when he sees his bed, where he would lie alone once more.

As the sun rises, Dimitri makes his way back to the throne room to meet with Dedue.

“Good morning, Your Highness! Do you feel any better today?”

“Yes, Dedue. Thank you for your suggestion. However, I feel the urge to send this to her. I want her to know how I feel at least, even if it warrants me no reply.”

“Your Highness…” Dedue sighs. “If that is your will, then I’ll see to it getting delivered to her.”

“Thank you, Dedue. I really appreciate it.”

“What do you plan on doing in the meantime, Your Highness?”

“In being more grateful…”

“Your Highness?”

“I have an entire kingdom to rule, friends who stand beside me and appreciate me. I will put my energy into just that!”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! :)


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